Why get a Tattoo!

Hey guys,

A lot of people wondering why I would get a tattoo of a tiger looking like Korea. Some people think its because of the Korean Pride that gets out of hand. No its not the answer.

The reason for it is because Korea is my homeland, even though I lived in the US for middle and high school Korea is where I was born and who I am. I have to respect that. But this is not the main reason and is only like 5% of the reason.

The main reason is because when I was about 7 or 8 can not really remember, I was rape by 5 high school boys back in Korea before I came to the United States. They rape me and said I was the most ugliest Korean ever.

When I came to America I didn't have any Korean friends. So going through a rough time I had no one to talk to about the changes or the problems I was going through. Most of the Koreans that came here did not want to consider me Korean. Also the Korean Americans did not want to believe I was Korean especially the gay ones. Also the Asian who are really white wash, think I am black or Mexican. Not trying to be racist but that really offends me. Like one of my friends brought his black friend to hang out with us because he thinks I'm part black, but the black guy said no I am not. The reason this hurts me is because black and Mexicans are look down upon. Yes there are blacks and Mexicans who are doctors and lawyers but the stereotype of what the world has of them is bad, and I do not want to be put in that stereotype.

This hurts me a lot. I am proud to be Korean and also proud to be 25%Polish, but I know nothing of my Polish side all I knwo is my Korean side. So this tattoo is for me to be proud of who I am. It is also to prove to others that even though I may not look like Won-bin or a half good looking Korean actor, I am Korean. I will get a Polish type tattoo when I find something that is really nice.

The funny thing is that when I went back to Korea for college a lot of Koreans just consider me Korean. They would say don't even say your 25% Polish your more Korean born in Korean and so on. I think with age comes maturity and more understanding. But here in American still today I get this negative stuff from people. It really hurts when people can see you for who you really are.

Even though Korea is still a conservative country that is opening the minds, eyes and ears. I feel that the United States still has a lot to go trough. Discrimination still goes through the US and most of through the gay world. Yes the gay world is about equality, however, there is this thing on people profile that say preferences. And to me that seem more discriminative than racism.

EX: Must be white, tone or muscle body only etc. And no not on sex sites. Even on sites where you try to find love.

Because a big majority of gay people think like this, my gay life is very boring. I am not the typical Korean or Asian boy that gays want. That is why I have no confidence or feel good about myself. I used to have a lot of gay people say, take your picture of the internet because you are the ugliest person they seen. But enough of this ranting.

I did go clubbing today. I was bored did not want to stay home but I did not get drunk, all I did was sit and wacth my friends have fun. Maybe I am getting old haha. I turn 24 next month.

NO Clubbing

Hey Guys,

Sorry for the long wait. School is so much lately. To much homework and midterms coming up this week. Well I am going to drop the WST class. I just got back my homework from that class all of them are "F's". My mom was like what the hell is with this teacher. The paragraph that I had to make was really good.

I think its becasue this class is made for student of the humanities department. My major is not in that department. So I will take the WST class when they have it for my department. But in my other class I got my other homework, and the grades were good. Like the case study thing I got A- which I was surprised.

Last weekend and today I am not going to the clubs. I bet a lot of my readers are like what. HAHA its not because of school but I do not feel like going to the clubs. I am getting sick and tired of the club scene here. I am just going to focus on school try to make str8 friends.

Gay people its hard to have friends. Like everyone msg me and said to tell my BFF to get better, but I was also sick. I felt like no one gave a crap about me. Like 3 weekends ago when I was at Dragon, I was next to my best friend and everyone was say hi to him hugging him and ignoring me. After a few mins they realized it was me and said oh hey Jun. But I have started to wounder if I should even consider them friends anymore. Gay people here seem to really care about the way their friends look like. (Gay Asian World) Gay Asian can be very bitchy. I knwo there are good ones but I think they gay life in the Asian community is not a place for me. As in the clubs and bars.

There's nothing really happening in my life right now that would be interesting to talk about. However there is finally 3 good looking guys in my class haha. In my Global Society class there is this Japanese America guy bald head in a frat he just just so hot haha. Than in my International Organization class there this Chinese American buff tall and sexy haha, and in my Asian Philosophy class there is this really tall Vietnamese American that's very cute, pretty eyes, great smile. I always look at him haha.

Life is a New

Hey guys today's I found this poem it is really funny. I thought everyone should read it.

A Passionate Kiss
Author: Gabriela

A passionate night between me and you
I can't begin to tell you the things I want to do.
First we can dim the lights and get closer.....
No, wait, that's too fast, let's go back
and move a little slower.

I'll kiss your lips that are so soft and sweet,
then move on to your cheek that's so smooth and unique.
Then I'll move right along that little ear of yours...
Whoa... my, my... let me move along your chest...
Uh, oh I missed a spot, let me move back up to the neck
As I move my tongue around and around
you start to feel it as I go down slowly
and as I kiss your chest your hands go up
...but I'm not finished yet....
I go further down towards your navel...
As I move down past your waist line I begin to kiss....

Oh, I just wake up to realize it's a dream !
A passionate dream fueled by my deep love for you.

Today for some reason I was not feeling good. I had pain threw my entire body. I do not why. This was really bad for me. I hope tomorrow brings a better day of no pain. I really do not know what to say anymore since nothing really happans at school. I still have no friends there. I know a few people there like 5 and my cousin goes there to but have only seen him once and others well not really.



I miss having my friends around me. The one thing I really hate is being alone. I need to have someone be by my side may it be my mother, my friends or a lover. But having someone near me makes me feel good. I know we need to learn to be alone sometimes but for me its hard all day long no one around. I only see my friends on the weekend and my mom comes home late and goes to bed early.


I knwo its only been a few weeks in school but I feel like a lot of things in me are changing. I do not know what it is. But I think it has to do with Sunday. I have realized many things more about the gay world, and about me. Also since I turn 24 this October I think I should change a lot. No I am not going to become a typical gay guy. But try to be a little more understanding of others. I still will be a typical Korean boy who is formal and respectful but in a different way. This is hard for me to explain but I do feel a change in me.


Life is really short, and I do not want to miss any chance at making more friends and finding my love. We as humans need love. All kinds of love. From family, friends and your love. With this comes drama. Life is full of drama where ever you go. You really can not live with out drama. If you do than you must be on a island alone. With drama comes experiences good and bad. Better connections with your friends or disconnections. Life is a thing of ups and downs. You can not run away from drama or people. This is why its called Karma. For some reason I feel like I must have done something wrong in the past to have the life I am living now. I have been told by many people that I will be single forever. From two palm readers on opposite sides of the world and by quiz's online, and from pyshics. And even my BFF's ex said that I am unlucky. But this will not keep me from trying.

Music Videos I made:

Life is not what its going to be.

Hey guys,

God school is so hard right now. I went to dragon on Friday than on Sunday night went to Crave in San Jose but we stayed there for awhile be for heading up to SF to go to Sanctuary. I did not come home until 6am It was interesting but after that Circuit party me my BFF figure out there is no where to met the kinda of guys we want. As we can tell there all the guys care about looks(body), and for a few the drugs. We really felt like we were in one of those episodes from queers as folk. I know there are some good guys out there but it does not seem to be easy to find.

Me and my bff are not really into these gay things. We also ask our self if we are gay or not. Because we do not think like a gay guy at all. We do not think we are better, it may come across like that but we are the type of gay people that straight people would not mind if we got married to another man.

The differences between me and my bff from gays is that we are discrete with everything we do just like straight people. To me I believe the reason that straight people do not want gays to get married, (1) the flaunt their sexuality, (2) the expect everyone should like them, (3) sex media they get, (4) and many more things you do not see straight people doing at all.

Pic I took in Hawaii
In this world not everyone is going to like you. It does not matter your sexuality, race, age, height, weight, or beliefs. Sometimes people just do not like other people. And just because they do not like you, you should not get mad at them. Just because we are does not mean anything we are normal human beings who want love. I would think.

But enough of that topic before I get heated up. But One of my friends now ex friend as of 9/9/09 6:30pm told me that I can change to straight. I wish it was that easy. I told him that it is not a choice. He think it is. Stupid no one can every control who you love what you love and so on. Also his stupid roommate is also stupid. He think that I will turn him gay. Wow There are some stupid people in my country. But they were raised here during their teenage years. From experience Koreans in California are more open minded also back in Korea because one of my hyungs(bigbro) found out that I was gay he does not care at all. He still cares for me as if I was his real brother. But all Koreans who are in other parts of the U.S are way to Christian. They are like God this and so on. I hate those kinds of people.

I am sorry for the people who believe in a God but the Christian God base religions have been proven fake. There has not been a article or announcement on it in the media. But if you were a good Catholic school boy like me and study the bible and other science you would than figure it out. I do not know why science just says it.

Later