CL Knows and my Life is still K-Drama

Hey guys,

I hope you all had a great St. Pantrics day. I did nothing of course. But study for test. Thank god this week is my last weekk before Spring Break. Yae for me. I can't wait to go to LA for spring break.

On Saturday the 11th I and CL went to Heaven it was ok, but we left and ended up going to Castro. It was really fun it was just me and CL. We are really close but the only closet it will get is a brother and sister like relationship. He calls me meimei(lil sis) and I call him gege(elder bro).

Well last weekend was very intresting and kinda of sad. I hang out with CL and his friend. We went shopping in SF before we went to the Castro. We got really drunk at trigger. Then we spend the night at his friend's house this one is a really nice guy. But a mutual frined of me and CL, a guy I like before CD(my bffs ex), text me and him. I did not knwo this but it looks like CD liked CL. God why do I feel like I am in a Korean drama.

So the text to me was saying I was a smart and good guy and that I should stop giving. And he text him saying that he should stop hanging out with guys who like him and stop trying to be inooccent. The text he gave me did not upset me but the one he sent to CL did. After that CL ask me if I still like him. I said yes. He thought becasue I was young he thought I like many guys and go from one to another really fast.

But we all knwo thats not the case. We had a long talk. But I knew it would not change anything, however, this whole week I was affriad of lossing him as a friend. But he called me yesterday today hangout we went to Dragon and had fun. Slept at his friends house again. Same guy from last week. Thank god our friendship did not change.

I just wish I could find a guy who I can like. I was on downelink the other day. And a guy msg me. He talk to me for about 20mins. We talk about eachother than all of a sudden he msg me about those webcam naked things. I was so pissed. The bay area sucks so much. All I get is guys who want me to see them on those stupid webcam sites, old guys who want to have sex with me. No one around my age wants me here.

Even at the clubs I see guys go up to other guys and my friends making out with people. I can not do this but it would be nice if a guy did that to me. I want to be more gay or in this case more open. I wish I was not so old fashion and conservtative.

Well I will witre again later. I go back now to living a Korean Drama life with no happy ending.