Respect & Persoanlities and the Future.

Hey guys,

I have been woundering lately why I met the bad people. I knwo you all read my blogs and probally the one before it and think I am a bad person. But deep down I am nice in side, just like my post on libra says. Of course we all can not get along with everyone and in my case certain races. But it has to do with the persoanlity of that race.( I will get into that later), but like the JM he only talks to me the night of Dragon wounders if I am going or not and when will I pick him up. Kinda of messed up. I mean, he is using me and my bff since he doesnt have a car. The funny thing is after we hangout for like 2 weeks he says you are my best friend. Kinda of wierd huh!

Yesterday I had gone to my friends house to play some poker very nice, he is also a goh goh kinda of guy. T.V.(not telvsion) is so nice to me and he treats me really nice. When I first met him I thought he was going to be a bitch becasue hes one of those really pretty looking guys. The ones you see in movies who are bitches but hes not. I was glad to have gone, havnt seen him since my bday. He has a bf who is really nice and also got to see the copule I havnt seen in a few months TJ and his bf MFJ its so nice to see them. I had fun but of course deep down I envy them and was kinda of sad.

They all have bfs, now my BFF has one, that guy I talk before about. Since weve been friends he has had 3 bffs, me none. Its so sad. He also meets more guys than me. I havnt met many. I know its not me, of course my bff would think that but its not. Most of his friends are Viet and Flips and they are the ones I do not get along with. Plus they really are not my type. I like Chinese, Singporens, Taiwanese, Hong Kong people. I get along with all of them to but its always just as friends and nothing more. To them they would think its some East Asian vs South East Asia war or something but its not it has to do with persoanlity.

Now I will get into something people dont seem to get. Everyone has many persoanlity and I do not mean split personality. Persoanlity are traits of people, whats in side you what makes you, you. You have Culture Persoanlity, Family Persoanlity, Upbringing persoanlity, and Individual persoanlity that makes you who you are. The funny thing most of these guys work in jobs that really deals with people, I would think they had to take some class before on this issue.

Since I bet you all knwo about Family personality which is what your family acts, does think, affect you bigger than you think, Upbringing personality, being the palces, people in your life and of course your individual perssoanlity all you know. I am going to wirte about culture persoanlity. In everyones culture you have the norms, belifes, vaules that affect who you are. And there is a big differences in South East Asian and East Asians. Of course each country has their own culture and norms but there is similarities in all Asian cultures.

But with the S.E Asian there are similraties just like Chinese, Korean and Japanesse have some similarities in how we act. East Asians still have a lot of tradional norms in our life, they might have change a little bit but compared to S.E Asians not so much anymore. Family ties are still there. For exapmle my bff's bf is kinda of mad at me becasue I defended FB. I was not, I didnt see what he did was wrong. He bow for forgivness and mmy bff and his bf thinks its bad. But coming from a cultre were we still see bowing as very respectful. This is what I told them and they were like he was on his knees. Guess what? we Korean still do that when we are sorry and when we have a request, depending on the request but we would not look at the person and be like oh my god what the fuck is he doing. But to them it is.

I think what pisss me off the most, they dont respect how I see things and how I feel about things. There have been many times that I have felt uncofarotable but I did not say anything. My bff thought I was more socialable than him, probally am, probally not but not with the type he hangs out with. I have never been dislike by Chinese(HK, Taiwan, Mainland, Singapore) or even my own people Koreans. Like our one friend VR we didnt get along but my bff had to try to make us get along and we did after like a year. Hes viet and I just never got along with them and Flips not so much. Call it racist if you want, but becasue of the way they act(culturaly) I do not like it. I will deal with them but I wont accept them as friends are anything. I think this is the reason why I am single, the gays here are mostly Chinese, Flips, and Viets. There is only one race I get along with here but they only see me as friend and nothing more, and the few Koreans here dont date other Koreans. So I am screwed.

They kept saying I need to change. And I am changing. I am being careful who I hangout with. When I go back to the gay world it will be different. Instead of pretending to like people and just dealing with them, I wont. I will only hang out with people I like and I know I will get along with and be comfortable with. It may not be the way they want me to change but its me and if they dont like it than I dont care anymore. I am doing what my mom tuaght me. Stay away from people you knwo you do not like and dont even bother to pretend to like them its life, not your job. Of course at your job place you just deal with it but outside of work dont pretend at all. By doing this I can be emotional stable.

When you do something you dont like, you are hurting yoruself more and more everyday. It may not show up right away but you will deal with it in the end and it will hurt you. Now that Iv got the poeple I dont really care for out of my life, I feel a lot better. Of course I am sad and envy my friends for being in a relationnship but its easier for me to handdle than it was before. Becasue no more of this fake crap inside of me.